2JRN1: Were You Naughty or Nice? Or....Errrmm...Evil?

Christmas is only three days away now.

Most of you, I'm sure, are expecting some gifts in all sorts of form. From crisp paper bills and clothes to boyfriend/girlfriend.

But before salivating over I-Pod Nanos and PS3's, why don't you evaluate yourselves?

Do you deserve these gifts?

Would Santa grant your wishes?

Were you naughty or nice? Or...Errrmm...Evil?

To save your asses from the troubles of doing it yourselves, I'll do it for you. Owww, how sweet of me right?

I'll evaluate these not so random people whether they've been naughty, nice or evil. Then I'll suggest gifts most suited to them.

Ching, ching, ching! The bells have already rang. Let's start this shit!

1. Poli - This person is the epitome of goodness and generosity. Never did he make others feel bad. He always sees to it that everyone is happy. He always thinks of other's sake before his own. A very religious person; puts God in everything the does.

Assessment: Nice. This person deserves all the money and PS3's in the world this Christmas. Anything of less value (in pesos) is considered a mortal sin.

2. Hagrid - I found out that this creature is Hermione. Very, very naughty I should say. She deserves something bad this Christmas. But thanks to this creature being my partner in Social Dance. It sure compensated for all her naughtiness this year.

Assessment: Nice. As a gift, this person should transform into Hermione for real (arvee to ron). It's her lifelong dream.

3. Babsy - See No.1 of "Can You Guess Who Am I"

Assessment: Evil. As a gift, her houseband treats her to the spa. But instead of putting muds, scented oil on her tubby-lardy body, the assistant puts sugar and honey glaze. Then, she's put in a box labeled "Purefoods Super Special Fiesta Ham." You better check your fridge. If you see that your ham for this Christmas is labeled as such--you know it's her. Happy eating! Yum Yum!

4. Betsy - This person did not do anything good this year. All she did was hanky-twirling, swatting non-existent mosquitoes, curling her locks, and changing jackets everyday.

She also has a not-so-good-so-retarded koreanovela airing in GMA 7; It's called "A Rosy Life." But if you watch this koreanovela (like adie) you'll find out that Betsy's life is not rosy.

Everyday, you'll see Betsy bawling, destroying things, contemplating about her love ones, being slapped, being hoisted in a flagpole and being smacked by a sledgehammer in the skull.

And yet, she still has the nerve to be kind.

Assessment - Evil. This person deserves a good bitch slapping and a reality check this Christmas. Hey, your show is A Rosy Life and not A Shitty Life!

Another gift for her is my work dedicated to her, Bettylungenlied. (Hahaha! Sorry! I promise I'll post this soon! I don't have the effin time!)

5. Ge - This girl is a heart breaker in the least. Poor Richmond!

Assessment: Naughty. As a gift, her mother announces that she has found another man. "Honey!" her mother calls out. The door opened, then out came...Richmond! Scary!

6. Arvee aka Evil Betty - His name speaks for itself. Honestly, do you really want a description of this devil-vermin-stalker?

Assessment: Evil, evil, evil. Drown this thing in a pool of Ginebra gin. And to make his Christmas a merry one, Ginebra will lose all their matches starting next year! Yeah! Then, Caguioa will retire to settle with Madam Auring. They'll have twins; a boy and a girl. The boy's name will be Arvee; the girls name--Fantilagan.

If you're not in the list, it means your nice and I don't have enough time--again.

Merry Christmas Everyone!