The Evil Past of Grimace

Every fucking human being who have been to McDonald's would know who this purple shit is.

Yup he's Grimace. For years, I have been wondering what on earth Grimace is.

McDonald's doesn't serve anything purple so he's definitely not food based. Plus would you eat something that looks like him?

There have been many speculations and theories on what Grimace really is. Some say he's a taste bud, others say he's giant chicken nugget but the best response I got was from a McDonald's cashier. I asked her about Grimace and this is what she said.

"Ang alam ko, Ube Sundae si Grimace."

Yeah right! As if Americans have/had Ube sundae listed in their menu!

What's next? Grimace is a Puto Pumbong? Ma'am Perenya's alter ego? An anal suppository?

And how come he's called Grimace when he's always smiling?

Obviously, I'm not convinced about what the cashier told me and so I searched Grimace on the internet.

According to www.ronald.com:

"Grimace is a big, loving, fuzzy purple fellow who is Ronald McDonald's best friend. He's sure Ronald is the world's ultimate authority on everything. While Grimace loves all McDonald's foods, he's absolutely crazy about milkshakes. Grimace is very enthusiastic and eager to try new things. His joyous spirit helps everyone overlook the fact he's a little slow and clumsy sometimes."

A good euphemism for the word--retarded.


According to Wikipedia: "Grimace is a fantasy character, and not intended to be anything specific.

So the reason why I can't figure out what Grimace is, is because he's not meant to be anything--makes sense.

I thought that my Grimace obsession was over; until my eyes fell on to this:

"In the first cycle of McDonaldland commercials beginning in 1971, Grimace was the "Evil Grimace", with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes. After that first campaign, the character was revised to be one of the "good guys", and his number of arms was reduced to two. Today, Grimace is generally portrayed in McDonald's commercials and merchandise as a sort of well-meaning doofus, whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to the more serious and mature Ronald McDonald." (www.wikipedia.com)



Why did they turn Grimace into a good guy? Maybe McDonald's was worried because with all those milkshakes, he's bound to get diabetes. Not good for marketting I would say. Think of it, he's already retarded and then he becomes diabetic. How much worse can it get? Grimace getting AIDS perhaps? Or maybe they're planning to pit Grimace against another purple monster, Barney. The Grimace Show vs Barney and Friends. That would be something! It's like Ali vs Frazier or "Hagrid" vs "Hagedorn."

McDonaldland is a scary place to live in. Nobody can eat burgers without Hamburglar stealing it.
Nobody can sip milkshakes in peace because a purple, retarded monster with six arms comes and suck the the entire thing out. How scary is that?

It seems to me that McDonald's characters are proving to be bad role models for children. Hamburglar steals burgers, the Fry Pals steals french fries and Grimace steals milkshakes.

McDonald's should emulate the goodness of Jollibees mascots: Sarah Geronimo, Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson.


Separated at birth?