Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Evil Past of Grimace


Every fucking human being who have been to McDonald's would know who this purple shit is.

Yup he's Grimace. For years, I have been wondering what on earth Grimace is.

McDonald's doesn't serve anything purple so he's definitely not food based. Plus would you eat something that looks like him?

There have been many speculations and theories on what Grimace really is. Some say he's a taste bud, others say he's giant chicken nugget but the best response I got was from a McDonald's cashier. I asked her about Grimace and this is what she said.

"Ang alam ko, Ube Sundae si Grimace."

Yeah right! As if Americans have/had Ube sundae listed in their menu!

What's next? Grimace is a Puto Pumbong? Ma'am Perenya's alter ego? An anal suppository?

And how come he's called Grimace when he's always smiling?

Obviously, I'm not convinced about what the cashier told me and so I searched Grimace on the internet.

According to www.ronald.com:

"Grimace is a big, loving, fuzzy purple fellow who is Ronald McDonald's best friend. He's sure Ronald is the world's ultimate authority on everything. While Grimace loves all McDonald's foods, he's absolutely crazy about milkshakes. Grimace is very enthusiastic and eager to try new things. His joyous spirit helps everyone overlook the fact he's a little slow and clumsy sometimes."

A good euphemism for the word--retarded.


According to Wikipedia: "Grimace is a fantasy character, and not intended to be anything specific.

So the reason why I can't figure out what Grimace is, is because he's not meant to be anything--makes sense.

I thought that my Grimace obsession was over; until my eyes fell on to this:

"In the first cycle of McDonaldland commercials beginning in 1971, Grimace was the "Evil Grimace", with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes. After that first campaign, the character was revised to be one of the "good guys", and his number of arms was reduced to two. Today, Grimace is generally portrayed in McDonald's commercials and merchandise as a sort of well-meaning doofus, whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to the more serious and mature Ronald McDonald." (www.wikipedia.com)



Why did they turn Grimace into a good guy? Maybe McDonald's was worried because with all those milkshakes, he's bound to get diabetes. Not good for marketting I would say. Think of it, he's already retarded and then he becomes diabetic. How much worse can it get? Grimace getting AIDS perhaps? Or maybe they're planning to pit Grimace against another purple monster, Barney. The Grimace Show vs Barney and Friends. That would be something! It's like Ali vs Frazier or "Hagrid" vs "Hagedorn."

McDonaldland is a scary place to live in. Nobody can eat burgers without Hamburglar stealing it.
Nobody can sip milkshakes in peace because a purple, retarded monster with six arms comes and suck the the entire thing out. How scary is that?

It seems to me that McDonald's characters are proving to be bad role models for children. Hamburglar steals burgers, the Fry Pals steals french fries and Grimace steals milkshakes.

McDonald's should emulate the goodness of Jollibees mascots: Sarah Geronimo, Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson.


Separated at birth?





9 Comments:

Blogger the_fallen said...

wakokokok!! XD
as usual another freakin hilarious post from you.

as far as i know, grimace was supposed to be a taro milkshake or whatever shit mcdonalds was thinking.

"Hagrid" vs "Hagedorn."
the funniest of them all.

i wish i can be as hilarious as you when it comes to writing. i wonder how funny your experiences are everyday that you can come up with such funny topics.

hehe.. mahirap talagang maging bitter sa mundo.

nga pala, pahiram ng cd!! pabalik mo na kay arveee yung btx!!! >.<

"McDonald's should emulate the goodness of Jollibees mascots: Sarah Geronimo, Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson."

one word: fuck

i'll go for barney. he's the most evil of all.

February 22, 2007 at 3:47:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger samuel said...

How much did Jollibee pay you to write something this...damaging to the reputation of McDonalds?

Just kidding.

Wow it seems you have really done your homework regarding Grimace. Well documented information, insightful speculations,complemented by interesting
pictures.

Maybe you can present these findings of yours during Phil Hist. I think Maam would appriciate your effort to share the historiology of McDonalds.

Regarding your final question I choose...Barny. We have enough retards, homosexuals, and even children here in the Philippines. With Barny's help maybe we could finally solve our country's population problem. XD

February 22, 2007 at 4:11:00 PM GMT+8  
Anonymous ge said...

hahaha! nice post poli!

i agree with sam.. "yu haav ey verry goud riserts my deah.. it would be verry healpful to di universetey.."

i'd rather have the fag. i have the barney song.

February 23, 2007 at 2:09:00 PM GMT+8  
Anonymous betsy said...

i'll go for barney!

i love you, you love me, were a happy family with a great big hug and a blah..blah..won't you say you love me too..

look how huggable barney is! at least were sure that barney is a dinosour...

hehehehe.

February 24, 2007 at 11:21:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger ***jenta**** said...

hiyah! i'm a friend of louise.. love your posts... so i'm askin permission if i could "quote" you in one of the entries i'll be posting sometime soon in my blog... hope you won't mind

March 22, 2007 at 10:55:00 AM GMT+8  
Anonymous miyuchi said...

wow, this is insightful.
I've never been a McDonald's fan, for I am a self-proclaimed Jollibee baby.

^^

I have to solute you about the
"Perena's alter-ego". I hate that bitch. She ruined two of our major subjects. My face would turn into GRIMACE when she passes by. >_<

March 22, 2007 at 3:21:00 PM GMT+8  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"i love you, you love me
let's go out and kill barney

with a shotgun — bang! bang!
barney's on the floor.

no more stupid dinosaur."

May 25, 2007 at 4:19:00 AM GMT+8  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing

February 19, 2010 at 5:26:00 PM GMT+8  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am reading this article second time today, you have to be more careful with content leakers. If I will fount it again I will send you a link

February 21, 2010 at 9:57:00 PM GMT+8  

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